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Learning About Anger Through a Dream

Experience submitted by Steeve Oberzusser
Experience submitted by Steeve Oberzusser

When I started Belsebuub’s courses, I remember I had issues with anger that were hard for me to deal with.

Even though I tried to practice self-observation, I couldn’t see where I was failing with anger; I only felt it when it was too late, when it was already expressing itself through me, through fits of anger. Not only did I not see any progress with my egos but it made me doubt the benefit of self-observation.

After struggling with it for a while, I was gifted with a meaningful and powerful dream.

I was shown how my anger was feeding throughout the day. I saw aspects of my anger clearly and in detail, I watched the whole cycle, from feeding to manifesting, I was also able to see evidence of my behaviour with people I knew, not just strangers.

I saw the negative impact it had on my life and how it affected those around me. It was just like watching a movie unfolding, except that I was watching/observing myself, this dream gave me insight into how to deal with anger and better still, how to eliminate it throughout the day.

I awoke from my dream initially happy for having had a clear dream as I had recently learned about the importance of them and used the technique taught to remember them, then while recalling the dream followed a sadness and shame, because for the first time, I understood how these egos were so freely and easily expressing themselves through me, while I was oblivious to them.

So I decided to take action and apply the technique of “elimination of the ego” taught by Belsebuub. It is then, that I understood, I was practicing self-observation incorrectly and how accurate and powerful Belsebuub’s writings are.

I am grateful for how that dream impacted my life, and to Belsebuub for helping me understand this topic.

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23 comments
  • Hi, Steeve,
    It was good to read about your experience with anger. It shows how we are always helped when we work hard to understand an aspect of ourselves that we want to change. It seems the anger is hiding between so many comments and attitudes and therefore gets hidden so well. I am trying to look into those aspects these days and I hope to come to a clearance sometime soon.

  • Thank you Steve for sharing your experience. You inspired me very deeply especially at the point where you saw the whole cycle of how your anger works and how you learned from all this to observe and eliminate it correctly in your day. I find that a very precious help.

    Many times I’ve been shown manifestations of particular aspects of my anger and have understood many things from these dreams, and more reflecting afterwards upon them. But I’ve never been able to learn enough in order to remember to observe and eliminate correctly my anger in my day or to overcome my weakness at the times when I do see it and do not want to let it go, as Lucia has mentioned. And I too have seen how I feed my anger with my thoughts, but have noticed how these thoughts fascinate me and prevent me from eliminating them. Your dream seems an amazing lesson, highlighting how dreams can really help us learn, thank you again for sharing it.

  • Nice to hear your experience Steeve!
    For me, anger is like a wild dog on a leash, which is ready to be released from its owner, as soon as a threat been felt. You said that you had started doubt about the benefit of self-observation, which for me need to be questioned often since it looks like what I see is partial and therefor not enough to understand what is going on.
    Puting things togehter with astral and meditation experiences makes a bigger picture and I can relate with you feeling happy in the beggining and sad after reflecting on it.

    Thank you for sharing it!

  • Such a thoughtful experience Steeve and its something that myself and I think everyone in the world can relate to with anger being very difficult to overcome, it reminded me of that great article on Belsebuub.com about When Anger Just Won’t Go Away, https://belsebuub.com/when-anger-just-wont-go-away. And isn’t it amazing how these dream guidance experiences show that we’re not alone and how impossible it would be to change if we were? Definitely a major ego state to overcome, its very destructive – thanks for sharing your experience it brings the importance of learning about this ego to the forefront. 🙂

  • Hi Steeve, your experience reminded me of what Belsebuub mentions about the egos, how we first have to see them in order to understand them. As you described in your experience, I have found the same in daily life. When I don’t see the smaller manifestations or its related friends which give it its food, I’m faced with the results of that emotion where they are strong enough to make me act in ways not beneficial to my own spiritual development.

    The struggle you refer to in figuring out how to change and overcome emotions seems to be necessary for gaining insights into thoughts and emotions and the help in your dream almost seems to come as a result of that. Only in the times I decided to not go along with a certain ego and be resolute with it, I was given help to understand them better. For me, that was either through dreams and reflections afterward. If I’m not making efforts, I’m just left on my own and dreams become less clear and meaningful.

    Thanks for sharing this as it is inspiring to read how you were helped and able to change things for the better.

  • Hi Steeve,

    Your experience makes me remember a quote from the Flight of the Feathered Serpent book, where it says “However, he who prays and watches, even though they do it in an imperfect way, will receive generous help and he will learn to receive generously as well”

    You were struggling with the anger and even though you weren’t at first able to observe it or stop it from manifesting, even doubting the technique wasn’t working, you got this immense help teaching you how it really works. For me this is really inspiring because often I feel my efforts are insufficient and inadequate but then surprising help or guidance or encouragement is given. Maybe it doesn’t mean that the efforts still were sufficient but that my attempts were seen and recognized and I was doing something in the right direction and it deserved that help.

    There seems to be a balance of not pushing ourselves recklessly but kind of intelligently going beyond our ‘comfort zone’ in our efforts and struggles at spirituality that can produce results and progress.

    “I understood how these egos were so freely and easily expressing themselves through me, while I was oblivious to them.” This is such a motivation to work harder to not allow them to control you but stop that darkness from expressing itself.

    Thanks for the inspiring account!

  • Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us Steeve. Even though initially you were doing the self-observation technique incorrectly, it seems as though your efforts and sincerity to eliminate that aspect of anger you were working hard to get rid of throughout the day paid off because it made it possible for you to get that extra guidance needed from above through dreams. I know dreams have helped me many times learn about certain defects and egos I carried within that I wasn’t even aware of or with ones I was struggling to understand. Belsebuub has stressed the importance of urgently working on those egos that appear in dreams.

  • Very powerful dream you had, Steeve. Goes to show how much our life here is truly like a school and it’s up to us to pay attention and move on to the next lesson. I find that help comes at a time like this when we’re struggling with something and arrive at a point where we don’t know the next step, where to even look next, nor what we’re doing wrong. It’s wonderful you got such an extensive insight into this state and its effects on others. I think from there, when it’s much clearer as to how this ego negatively impacts our lives and those around us, when the pain of it is really felt, it’s easier to want to work on it with greater determination and eliminate it.

  • Thanks for sharing your experience Steeve. It is nice to read your experience. It brings back to memory my own experiences, and puts my own struggles to use self-observation in a wider perspective. I also learned self-observation from Belsebuub’s courses, and also had a lot of help to understand how to use it through dreams and in daily life.

  • Steeve! It was such a nice surprise to see your face. I hope you’re doing well. Thanks for sharing this experience. I’ve struggled with certain egos where it seems like nothing else has been able to help me, but dreams. It’s such a great teaching environment to see how things work while being slightly detached enough to observe it all (or even observing yourself acting with the ego) and pick up things you just can’t witness during daily life. When I find myself not able to move a certain ego I know I can always ask for guidance, and most often it’s given.

    Take care! Say hello to your beautiful wife.

  • Your dream experience makes me think of the review at the end of one’s life that many NDE experience-ers talk about. The film. Like a very well flowing and concentrated retrospection, but being taken by the hand by a divine force and with that ‘in-the-astral’ ability to feel and understand more clearly.

    A great gift indeed to be shown it all so clearly like that.

    Your experience also makes me think of the value a concentrated retrospection can have for us.

  • Hi Steeve, it was really nice to read your experience. Thanks a lot for sharing. It must have been inspiring to receive understanding after feeling stuck with that anger.

    Sometimes anger seems so big and overwhelming, I feel like I need to be always alert for small irritations or feeling of being annoyed (and really any other fascination) that seem to prepare my inner environment for a big manifestation of that emotion, should the circumstances call for it.

    On that note, I also find it strange that nowadays it is even encouraged by society to feel angry when it is justified, supposedly allowing it out would make you feel better. But it doesn’t, when I’m angry I just feel terribly drained after that and I have a feeling I’ve lost myself to weakness. And it’s almost the same feeling like suppressing it, that is draining as well. It seems it’s best to apply those self-knowledge techniques, see it, feel it, actually go through it, but like a ‘mystical scientist’ – studying it empirically, not allowing it to take over or eat you inside but pray for it’s elimination and come back to clarity. I feel like if I try to go through it consciously I’m taking a small step in the right direction and I’m more able to hold my ground better.

    • It’s interesting you bring this up, Pavlin. I was just thinking of it the other day. I remember in school, health teachers, when discussing about how to deal with emotions, often highlighted to not bottle them up and how detrimental this was. However, they never gave constructive ways to actually deal with them and overcome things like anger — ever (or I missed that lesson 😉 ). So you’d just be left with… expressing them. “Let it out” — how often I’ve heard that, as if it’s the best advice out there. I also don’t think it’s possible to actually keep them bottled up, not in a true sense. To me, at least, anger generally found its way out in short bursts at any hint of an opportune moment. It didn’t have to be a major outburst — just here and there, spreading negativity. If it was suppressed, it created a very confusing internal environment, as sometimes I wouldn’t even know what exactly was the matter (and, unfortunately, other would suffer for this)! At times even, it was like a default, an underlining emotion. And if there wasn’t an opportunity for it to be heard out loud, it certainly made its presence known internally. And it’s not like that energy is any less impactful than when verbally expressed.

      I never considered that this was a separate entity from me — and how much power that knowledge holds. To actually stop, observe, and then later study the different ways that ego functions through a person can be a very liberating process of discovery.

    • I find there’s so much to learn and discover about the manifestations of anger. Such as the triggers that set it off and maintain it. As well as about our attachments and goals which are blocked, or why we feel hurt, which are behind that activation of anger.

      But approaching it can be so tough! We shouldn’t react with anger obviously. The inner techniques for self-knowledge are a much better way to deal with it. However what I have, very slowly, started to learn is that even though we shouldn’t act with negativity that does not mean that we shouldn’t act at all.
      That’s also a mistake. But it can be quite another challenge to learn to act objectively like that! Maybe we already need some grip upon the understanding of anger, a certain detachment.

    • Hi Pavlin,

      About the society encouraging to express the anger you said, it’s something very true. That it’s also an advice from psychologists to their patients sometimes from what I know.
      In one extent I have seeing how much relief one person got expressing themselves with a range about an incident that left a deep psychological wound on them for ages, something that came together with an understanding of why this happen to them.

      In that way, people who don’t know how to handle their anger, to understand where are its origins and in the best case how to eliminate the defect, just suppressing their anger inside, I think can be quite destructive. In these cases crying, for example, could be an alternative but nothing can be compared with the relief that comes from the understanding and the elimination of the defect.
      I’m grateful I know how to apply these technics I learned from Belsebuub and it’s sad that other people and especially psychologists don’t know for themselves and to help their patients more effectively.

      • Yes, that’s right suppressing emotions is definitely not good – as then those emotions can fester and become utterly destructive. Thankfully, what self-knowledge is about is the opposite of suppressing emotions/feelings or thoughts – but about understanding them for what they are and if needed to be able to get rid of them.

        Anger is far from healing – with anger, we just make another person feel attacked, terrorized and submissive to that anger, and that ego is just happy to gets its own ways. It’s not “us” that is getting our own way – simply anger, and its destructive footpath – the next time, the person that was ‘screamed’ at for example, is afraid of expressing themselves, and this leads to less and less communication between people – as anger is met each time a disagreement comes forth.

        Understanding anger and be able to get rid of it then helps to see the other person’s point of view, as well as opening ourselves to see more solution or suggestions / opinions and to also learn about what it is inside of us that wants ‘its’ own way. And being able to understand what lead to that anger can then uncover a whole other unseen problems that may block our communication and learning. I’ve seen how pride and anger like to work with each other for example – and boy, do they stop the learning of any kind..!

        But suppressing or hiding anger leads to no good, and can lead to really bad feelings of resentments, even feelings of hatred. I think that’s why some psychologists may recommend to let emotions out but I don’t think they necessarily mean to ‘nurture’ those emotions either, but I know some people (whether or not they are psychologist) do support the full ‘be your emotions’, and while suppressing emotions is not good, neither it is to let the emotions rule the person – I think that’s where some misunderstanding nowadays has taken place: that having and endorsing those emotions is good – they’re not – anger, hate, jealousy etc.. none of these are good, and actually many of those have led to horrible outcomes.

        • Well said and explained Geraldine. I can relate to what you said and its spot on.

          Its quite shocking to see how much negativity is within , and I personally have seen how anger hardens our hearts. It made me kind of understand how and why the ancient Egyptians showed the weighing of the heart when it came to overseeing the judgement of the soul.

          I’ve seen how that hardening is experienced through lack of care, not willing to see another’s view point, thinking I’m right, that I know, wanting things my way and having that cold indifference to how I treat and affect others. These negative behaviours that drag us into divisions within us and with others. Another expression of this hardening of the heart is having a ‘heart of stone’ which I wonder if that also may have derived from the ancient Egyptians? Unfortunately these days we’re so surrounded by so many people in this situation like us that we find it very hard to see how much we’ve hardened our hearts. Which is why this incredible self knowledge that Belsebuub explains is so vital for our own well being as well as others, and how valuable dream guidance is in showing us the reality of how we actually are and not how we think we are.

  • Hi Steeve,

    thanks for sharing your encouraging experience with understanding anger. It must have been a ‘game changer’ to go through that movie of the whole process of manifestation. I can’t say I’ve experienced anything so clear – more understanding through piecing together different parts of the puzzle. But I know of the real shock and dismay when you see the sad reality for what it is – that often we are nothing but vehicles for these nasty, destructive, ugly energies, that ultimately just hurt others and ourselves.

    For me, retrospection and analysis has been the biggest help in the struggle to break free of anger. I still feel like I’m in kindergarden with self-observation, and miss a lot of what goes on as it happens, but when I make the efforts to review my day and look at myself, even when it’s uncomfortable, I feel a lot more on top of things – during the day I’m more able to spot patterns and halt them before I burst, and the night’s are more fruitful in terms of guidance. Without that practise, I quite quickly realise I’ve lost the thread of learning.

    Thanks again for sharing your experience, it makes me strive for more knowing such clear insights can be given.

    All the best!

  • Thanks for sharing Steeve,
    I can relate to your experience and like you I am so grateful
    for Belsebuubs help as well.

  • Thank you very much for sharing this teaching Steve. It is very interesting for me, as I seem to face the same problem of not being aware where and how exactly anger feeds, and usually only manage to catch it when it is already quite powerful and hard to manage.

    I have made some progress in the last couple of years to at least being able to spot different manifestations of it that I didn’t consider to be anger before, but there is still a long way to go to untangle the workings of this ego. For me, it seems to be tied a lot to not having control over certain things or situations, which then cause me to feel frustrated, helpless and angry in the end. It seems to be very hard for me to “just let go” and not to be able to plan or execute things in a way I imagine, and just have faith that a higher intelligence is shaping my life and I just have to perceive and act accordingly to the arising situations instead of trying to bend things my way.

    It must have also been very interesting for you to watch the whole cycle of anger in your dream, and in this way understand its workings, and then being able to apply the elimination technique correctly. This is another important point I think – to not just become aware of an aspect of an ego manifesting, but also to have the remembrance and willpower to apply the elimination technique in that very moment.

  • Thanks for sharing that dream experience Steeve. Unless we have self-observation, there’s so much learning about ourselves that we could potentially miss. This is a real pity, not only ourselves, but also for others around us, as our inner states can cause far greater damage when we lack self-knowledge.

    I’ve also seen the importance of observing and understanding our dreams as an important part of our approach to gain self-knowledge. I’ve sometimes found myself in similar situations to the one you described, where there has been negativity manifesting within me, but which I haven’t spotted. I’ve then seen dreams that have indicated I need to work on particular inner states, such as anger, which have prompted me to be more “on the look-out” during the day, in order to not allow those occurrences to pass by unnoticed.

    Sometimes I’ve still found it difficult to spot where I’m going wrong, but then with sharper self-observation, I’ve seen although these manifestations of negativity may not be overwhelming, they are still taking place, particularly in my thoughts. This has then given a greater motivation to observe not only my actions, but also my thoughts, to stop negativity from taking a hold.

    I would agree that the tools for gaining self-knowledge, which Belsebuub writes about can have a huge benefit upon our lives, if we learn to apply them correctly and consistently.

  • Hi Steeve, it must have been really quite an eye-opener to receive such clear guidance and information about how anger was feeding and expressing itself in your life. I know what you mean about the sadness and shame, because I have felt it too after dreams in which I see myself fail or react, but thankfully though, like you mentioned, seeing something like that is also helpful, since it can be changed. It was such a nice and inspiring experience to read.

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Born in Britain, Mark Pritchard is a spiritual teacher and author who writes with the name Belsebuub. He has published several books on dreams and out-of-body experiences and has discussed these topics widely in the media. Read more about Belsebuub's work on dreams...

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