I was looking into an ego one time and I was amazed to see how dreams would teach me during the night time about how I was going with my work on this ego during the day, and how interrelated my night and day experiences were and also how accurate and detailed the symbolic dream world can be.
Looking into this particular ego, I was trying to observe it during the day and also I was learning about the ego by doing a retrospection and analysis of the ego practices at night. Through these practices, which Belsebuub talks extensively about in his books, I started to gain an understanding of how the ego would manifest and appear within me whilst going about my daily activities.
From a Rough Start that Felt like Looking into a Pea Soup..
At the beginning I really didn’t know how to tackle the ego that I chose to work on as all I could feel when I looked within was a buzzing energy that didn’t seem to have a particular single aspect, thought or emotion to it. The energy within just seemed to appear in the centers and I couldn’t make heads or tails out of it, I couldn’t identify or see it clearly.
This reminds me of Belsebuub’s talk on one of his videos were he describes starting out with looking within as trying to see through pea soup!
I analyzed this energy and asked for its removal and from there on I started to go on a daily journey of looking at different aspects of this ego. Each night interesting dreams showed me new aspects of the ego that would manifest the next day which I then could see within and work upon during the day because the dream showed me what the ego acted like in some instances.
The dreams showed me aspects of the ego where sometimes I would see a person for example that said something to me, sometimes repeatedly. Other times I knew the person that I met in the dream (and sometimes I didn’t know the person I saw in the dream) but they all acted in some peculiar way or said something that would then give me a guide on what to look for during the next day.
I was amazed to see in my next day’s activities that very particular type of behavior which I then understood was the manifestation of that ego in my dream. From this I started to understand the ego because it was shown to me in my previous nights dreams.
To Holding onto a Thread of Knowledge and Dream Guidance
This was amazing from not knowing where to start only a couple of days before but through the effort of trying and doing the right practices I had a lead on this ego which I could begin see within myself. What would I do without the divine showing me a direction? I would have been lost.
Each day I seemed to act differently when doing work activities and working with people, I noticed how irradiated the ego got, how judgmental the ego was in its thinking and I started to see what was within me.
I got a taste of what the work was like and it was so different to the way I logically thought it would be, it seemed so natural!
It was really a living teaching that brought a new perception of life that made it interesting to go to work, do activities, relate and work with other people because through dreams and the guidance within them I could see what I had to work on in my daily life’s activities.
It wasn’t like I was this super aware person either, I was simply starting from where I was and tried!
Arising Obstacles and Receiving Further Guidance in my Dreams
As I worked on the ego other dream symbols started to arise which showed my attitude to the spiritual work I had just started.
I didn’t think I was doing anything really substantial but my dreams showed me that although small, I had started a work upon an ego but also that I was starting to treat the work in a certain way that showed a certain attitude which was starting to appear that wasn’t very helpful to the work; and through my dreams and the symbolism within it I could see that I had a lack of care towards the spiritual within me.
I got to a certain point where my car started to appear symbolically in my dreams and I remember that the way I was driving the car in the dream was meaningful.
The thing that I remember the most was that I had learned something about the spiritual work in trying to drive that car, and that was the car either goes forwards or backwards and it doesn’t have any brakes. For me this showed me that with egos we either work on them or we don’t, we either move forwards or move backwards but there is never any ‘staying still’ within the work.
Cars have shown up in my dreams many times and the way that I’m driving the car shows me how I’m going with the work that I’m doing during the day.
How this Experience Changed my Mindset on Advancing Spiritually
I got a lot out of this experience and it’s absolutely amazing to see the dream guidance clearly giving information through the symbolic dream world to help direct my focus onto what was needed during the day to advance spiritually.
To see the physical reality in daily life of the inner teachings of the being which gave me such a strong impression of the divine influence in life that guides me, teaches me and shows me the way forward in the seemingly impossible world of the egos.
I know now it’s absolutely possible to tap into this knowledge today and gain my own understanding for myself, and as Belsebuub says to learn from the book of life in this video:
And it might not happen the way I think it will happen but now it’s clear to me that if I try I will get a result because for years I thought that the work took some special awareness that I didn’t quite have or that I couldn’t do the practices well etc, etc..
Through this experience, I found to my amazement that all I had to do was to start from right where I was at the time, even though I wasn’t that ‘super amazing concentrated awareness machine‘ that I thought that I needed to be.
I realized that I was deceiving myself about the work and learned how natural and alive the work actually was which really was a relief from the mindset which I had created around the inner work and what I thought I needed to do to make the work attainable to do.