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A Lesson on Awareness While Driving in a Dream

Experience submitted by Ella Klyashitsky

This short dream experience had a profound impact on me. It was during a time that I felt quite lost spiritually and my physical life seemed directionless too.

I constantly worried about what I should do and my mind churned on and on, bringing me down. I was praying a lot for guidance: should I go this way or that? But nothing seemed to come and moreover, I was so caught up in worries that I had stopped getting intuitive feelings.

At the time I was staying somewhere quite new, I’d only been there a week or so. Early the next morning I had to take someone’s car to the nearby town on my own.

That morning I dreamt I was driving down that same road to the nearby town, as I was scheduled to. I’d done the journey a few times as a passenger, it was a fast but quiet road, surrounded by green hills and with mountains in the distance.

Nothing in the dream was particularly unusual, except that I could feel my divine mother absolutely everywhere. It was as though she was an invisible passenger, taking up all the other seats.

The surroundings I was driving through were as they usually are, but even more exquisite. The trees and grass reflected the early morning light, and all round seemed to pulsate with life and shimmer with subtle shades of other-worldly colours.

Everything I looked at somehow felt like my divine mother too. At the same time I could feel her inside me, an intense almost ache, but not painful, in my heart. She was in my movements, and my mind was immersed with thoughts of her, but I was not thinking, I was incredibly aware.

I felt like I was being shown how to be aware, that I was having a lesson without words on awareness from my divine mother.

I woke up from the dream deeply moved and surprised. After what felt like an age in internal darkness, suddenly I was gifted this immense comfort of feeling at one with an internal spiritual guide, even if for a short time.

The alarm had gone off to wake me up to take the car on my little errand. The feelings of the dream and the sense of my divine mother were still very strong in me as I got in the car and started driving, down that road I’d just dreamt of.

It was early on a summer’s morning and there was no one else around. The nature was beautiful, there was that soft morning light, and the strange sense of reliving the dream I had just woken up from heightened my attempts to be aware.

I drove in awareness, and though it was nowhere near as intense as in my dream, I still felt as though I was being taught how to stay in the present moment by my divine mother and that she was encouraging me.

I realised that without this dream, the short car journey would have been very different. I would have been stuck in thoughts, enjoying the morning but in a much more muted way, just stepping straight back into a mental regurgitation of my perceived problems, or feeling heavy emotions.

What I also understood was that the wider message of this dream was an answer to my pleas for guidance. But instead of the clear arrow pointing to a physical direction I wanted, I was simply told: “practise awareness, go within.”

I was urged to clean up my inner state through focusing on the techniques I’d learnt over the years of studying Belsebuub’s spiritual work, rather than solely focus on looking for an answer in the external world while not realizing the answer could come from within.


  • What an uplifting experience Ella. It’s incredible how the techniques from Belsebuub can lead to these kinds of experiences. We are often so emerged into the things we do in life that we do not pay attention to what’s inside of us and the help that can come from within. I too have felt my divine mother’s presence in dreams and have seen representations of her, often showing up as my own physical mother although then with a very distinct feeling to her.

    Before reaching my teens I could remember many of my dreams. My mother was often with me, protecting me or give me little hints when I was in unpleasant circumstances. As I grew up I lost that connection and only later I discovered how to get back to that through Belsebuub’s work. It’s really incredible what she can do for us as you allude to in your experience.

    That said because she’s not physically present, I have found that it’s easy to forget her and even do the things that bring about a distance between us. I can tell as that is usually followed by low feelings, a loss of focus to the point it almost feels like she doesn’t exist. Approaching this relationship in a similar manner as I do with close friends and family has helped. For example, sometimes I would not do certain things out of respect for my friend. To me, the same goes for my relationship with my divine mother and that I should give things up to built upon what we have instead of creating a distance. I’m definitely not there yet, but those special moments with her are unique and absolutely worth it.

  • Very uplifting experience Ella, it spoke to me and touched me.

    “I was so caught up in worries that I had stopped getting intuitive feelings.” I think this is such a great point. And what you say in a comment below, forging our strength is not giving up when things seem impossibly hard, confusing and dark. Even when our attempts at not giving up seem to be going nowhere. When I’m not doing well, the doing well is actually not giving into distractions or pleasures or hopelessness. Not necessarily feeling strength and clarity.

    Obviously I’m now quite inspired to remember my Divine Mother more and honour her with what I do and how I do it and look for a closeness with her.

    Thank you!

    • Great Laura. For me, one of the most helpful ‘practises’ has just been to speak with her, like debriefing at the end of the day with a manager, trying to get a sense of where I am and hear what she has to say. And also to start the day with a kind of ‘team meeting’ – like OK, so what’s the plan today again? (So often I’ve already forgotten and just blaze into the day half-blind.) Trying to ‘touch base’ with her throughout the day, a small prayer, a few minutes focusing on my heart beat, all these little things add up to making a huge difference – rather than feeling alone, remembering the truth, that she’s always with us.

      • I love that Ella. I’m trying to do something similar, but reading your comment makes me want to go deeper with it. To have those moments throughout the day when I sit down and listen to my Divine Mother, and talk with her. What seems to bring me the closest to my divine parents is to thank them for all the things they are giving me, and helping me with. At times I’ve felt I had to clench my teeth and bow my head and thank my Divine Mother for the lessons she was giving me (even though it was difficult) and ask for help to learn from what was happening around me. It’s easy to want to protest instead.

        I can relate to what Laura is saying about things feeling too hard. It can be very difficult to see any progress when I’m in the middle of the mud, so to speak. I think more meetings with my Divine Mother might help 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing your experiences Ella i really enjoyed reading it 🙂

    Recently i had gone through a similar circumstance, where everything externally wasn’t exactly going well, and there was a density that was suffocating me which i couldn’t shrug… I prayed and pleaded to my divine mother for help as i was really struggling! Still for a while longer it continued, deep down i knew i wasnt doing so well internally.

    A couple of days later i had to make a car trip over to help some family with some building work, i had half an hour in the car alone! I decided to make a big effort to be aware, i begged my divine mother to help me to be aware and to keep me safe from the egos that were causing so much chaos inside. Instantly i felt a strong electric current pass through my body, entering through the head..From intuition i knew my divine mother was there with me, and for the remainder of the car trip i maintained a strong awareness which during i received particular insights of what needed to be done that day .
    One thing that was clear is that i was receiving divine mercy in these moments as i knew my actions were not to standards during this time, a deep remorse that came with this…I also realised that i would have continued with these lower states if i did not make efforts to be aware.
    I took advantage of this throughout the day and made much bigger efforts to be aware, which in turn paid off during the night where i received very valuable teachings!

    But i feel the most valuable lesson i received is that when things are going well and I’m comfortable it is easy to slacken off, then when things get tough i pray and plead for mercy, essentially going around in a circle. Thou this doesn’t help with removing the darkness within which is required to progress. It requires a constant effort to be aware, to be in prayer with the divine especially when things are going well….

    • Thanks for sharing Chris – it’s a sad truth, that when we’re ‘doing well’ (all relative!) we’re much more likely to bounce around, bolstered by a kind of arrogance, and also very easily satisfied and swayed by material pleasures. When things are ‘going badly’, we’re much more likely to be seeking that support from our divine parents, but then our actions and feelings are also more likely to be low. It’s quite hard for me to find the middle-ground, where my energy is up but my focus is clear and on the spiritual, and then to stay in it, without being pulled either way – ‘up’ and towards fascination and frivolity or ‘down’ and into a mild depressive state.

      But it’s great to hear you came out of it with that car ride, or started to make a strong step to fighting back, it can only take a decision like this and an opportunity grasped to make a shift. Wishing you much strength to get out of the ‘circle’ and move forward!

  • Thanks Ella for sharing the insights you gained from that vivid dream, which you were able to then immediately apply to your daily life. Your experience highlights the importance of getting the fundamentals right when attempting to live a spiritual life: practicing awareness and building a personal connection with the divine.

    • Totally Michael, if we could just stick to the ‘fundamentals’ and put all our energy into it – I think progress would be inevitable!

  • Very nice your experience Ella.

    I liked your proper approach and understanding in your experience.

    Thank you for sharing this!

  • That is such a beautiful experience, Ella. Thank you for sharing. It must have been wonderful to see your Divine Mother everywhere and to feel her within.

    It reminds me a little bit of in the Bhagavad Gita where Krishna reveals himself in his true form and Arjuna sees him everywhere. To think that we can merge with these higher powers of creation through this work… It’s totally profound.

    There was another great lesson in your experience, in how important it is to focus upon the inner work and not expect answers to just be delivered to us. I so easily fall victim to feeling lost when I can’t find the answers I’m looking for, instead of making the most of my situation and focusing upon my inner work and connecting more with my Being.

    • Hi Mike. Thanks for sharing that about the Bhagvad Gita, I didn’t remember that.

      Remembering this experience I kind of came to a new appreciation of the title of the book and the phrase ‘the Awakening of Perception’. It is totally profound, like you say, that we can merge with this higher reality, and how really it is a matter pf perception … and all that being able to perceive really means. It’s been a lot through astral/dream experiences that I’ve been gifted with a glimpse of just how different this perception is to ‘normal’ perception. Awareness can come close.

      And yep, there are a myriad of ways we can loose contact with out Being … it feels like a constant struggle to come back to focusing on it, again and again, like a magnified version of a concentration practise! 😉

      Wishing you the best with it!

  • What a wonderful experience Ella! It is a real gift to be given such clear help to deal with lack of clarity on what to do. It is a helpful reminder for me to deal with confusion through awareness as opposed to analysis with the mind. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thank Aleks! Yes, it was a good lesson in finding the solution through coming out of the mind rather than just getting more entangled in it through feeding the emotional and thought processes.

  • This experience is so so lovely Ella. And the ache you describe, I wonder if I’ve felt that too. What you said about her being in your movements, in your mind, caught my attention. At times when I’ve tried to be aware, I’ve felt that really I was focusing on being close to her. But I wasn’t thinking about it…it was more like moving as a prayer. Just not sure how to explain it. But it inspired me greatly because really, I just wanted to be near her. And practicing awareness became a way of doing that. And those few times it became very strong, everything I looked at seemed beautiful, touched by her presence.

    • I think you’re on to something there Anne Linn, or touch upon an aspect of awareness that’s hard to describe or rationalise, and that can’t really be explained to you – but I know what you mean. There have been times when I’ve had a heightened sense of being connected to my divine mother, so that I’ve also felt like she’s right there, here, in everything, so very near, within. (And the opposite is true, that I’ve seen how I can be totally permeated with the egos, every movement and noise and thought and feeling.) It’s the closest I’ve come to being able to fathom what it might be to perceive the emanations and ‘perfume’ of the Being within, as Belsebuub describes as coming with the process of awakening.

      • So beautiful Ella. This inspires me to be aware more than anything else, to be close to my divine mother, and to feel beauty. It does feel like she perfumes everything around me, those times I’ve managed to feel closer to her. It feels like resting in her, even if things are difficult. I wish and hope I will be able to stay in that place.

  • Thanks for sharing Ella,
    A small dream but a real inner eye opener that gives so much
    of what really is required.

    • Hey David. Yes, an eye opener. Something that ‘opens the vision’ to what is possible, and shakes to remind you how far you are from it – and to get cracking!

  • It’s wonderful you were able to experience feeling the presence and energy of your Divine Mother so strongly. How empowering it must be to have that force with you.

    It’s also interesting how when you felt ‘down’ spiritually that this experience came to you. Often when things are not going well, dreams tell me this too. But like you I’ve also experienced at times where I things were going very badly but just felt too weighed down to get up from it at the time, that I may actually receive a night of experiences in the astral that are positive, uplifting and encouraging. Knowing I certainly hadn’t deserved it makes receiving those boosts just feel like such a kind thing!

    Your example is also nice because it sort of worked on a number of levels it seems to me. In teaching you that way of approaching things. In giving a pre-‘how to + answers’ and the opportunity to put learn to put it in practice in real life. And also at the same time it even worked symbolically, with you driving the car of your work, you mother there beside you.

    • Hey Karim,

      yes I thought the ‘set up’ was great too: “this is how it’s done, this is how it can be”, and then, “so now your turn”!

      It is true that sometimes we are given little gifts when we’re down and that it’s such a kindness, a mercy really. This was certainly the case here – it wasn’t the same as having good efforts translate into more lucid experiences. But I was sincerely trying through my struggles, and that does get rewarded it seems. Sometimes I’ve wondered what it must mean to be immersed in a darkness, and to have your faith in the being, your ‘obedience’, tested, as Belsebuub describes as happening in the path. Of course I don’t know really, but I feel like we all get brought down to low points periodically, and part of forging strength within is not giving up at these times.

  • Thank you for sharing Ella, how beautiful! Also something I need to do right now…

    And like you, I also only learned about the existence of our personal, Divine mother on Blesebuub’s courses. I had a certain reluctance to accept it straight away, as I thought “ok, we have some sort of Higher Self, guiding us, but how certain it is that it is even divided into masculine and feminine aspect?”. But then I remembered some astral experiences I had before learning about this, where I also encountered this higher aspect of myself and was guided and taught by it, and it was definitely feminine in its nature.

    • Me too Lucia.

      Even though in childhood I felt this presence, or energy, or connection, close within me. It wasn’t until I heard about ‘a Divine Mother’ from Belsebuub’s courses that I was able to start to try to develop a communication and bond with her.
      Especially at first it felt so amazing to think that a force like that was always there to ‘hear’ me. Who was able to recognize the good that was going on inside me, and who was able to help me face the ugliness and difficulties too.

    • Hey Lucia. Good luck with that!

      I wonder how many people who speak about ‘their guides’, actually mean their divine mother? It seems like having a ‘guide’ is a much more common concept in spiritual circles these days – people obviously feel it, but I wonder it it’s become translated as something more external. Though I’m sure we also have external guides, personally I’ve felt much more connected to an internal one, and think that knowing your divine mother is there, as a higher aspect of yourself, that you work to merge with, is also much more powerful that just believing you have ‘guides’ out there.

Who Is Belsebuub?

Belsebuub is an author who has previously published several books on dreams and out-of-body experiences and has discussed these topics widely in the media. He withdrew from public life in 2010. Read more about Belsebuub's work on dreams...

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