Experience submitted by Maria V.

Experience submitted by Maria V.

Usually, in my dreams I’ve been shown an ego state that I need to work upon, a particular aspect of it, and sometimes my dreams would bring back a similar behavior I’ve had from the beginning of my life.

I would then be studying and reflecting on the dream later on, doing a retrospection to see if and how this ego repeats in my days, and I would be able to uncover this similar behavior in my past.

In this particular dream experience it was different, it was like I was shown exactly what I would live inwardly but in the near future. It was a bit like a premonition.

The dream was showing me something about my anger. It was so alive and clear and it happened just before I woke up. I kept laying still trying to remember every detail of it and then wrote it in my dream diary that I keep beside my bed.

I realized that my dream was showing me many details of this very strong ego of mine, and I knew that I should reflect upon it later, but looking back after the events, I can see that inwardly I had not really intended to do that.

For the next 2 days after I had this dream, I was waiting to see if something related to it would appear in my day but it didn’t; afterwards and ‘very easily’ I forgot my dream completely, and never did meditate upon it.

Some time later I had an argument with someone. As I was very angry trying to support my opinion about something and to convince the other person about what I believed, criticizing them negatively inwardly about the way they were thinking and approaching things, suddenly the dream I had that day came back to me full force.

Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash. (Image has been modified)

Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash. (Image has been modified)

And it was like an instant insight, I could see the exact similarities between the dream and the present scene I was living. These similarities shocked me so deeply, that I automatically stopped talking and stood still for some time, trying to perceive and comprehend the information I had just uncovered.

I didn’t expect what I was seeing, the two events weren’t the same, but inwardly the details and elements that were behind my anger in both of them were exactly the same, dictating my behavior exactly in the same way.

I understood through this comparison the real causes of my aggressive behavior in both cases, and what ego was behind it, what it really wanted, how it asserted itself, and this automatically gave me some understanding about the other person’s position too. And because of that, I couldn’t feel anger towards them any longer and the argument ended.

Later, I wrote down all the understanding I had gained to reflect and meditate upon it, in order to understand deeper how this ego works in me. I couldn’t believe what I had experienced, this dream experience had revealed to me the true intentions of my egos and how the egos deceive me.