Lilia

Experience submitted by Lilia McNair

After observing that a specific ego was affecting me negatively, I decided to ‘work on it’ to get rid of it. As suggested by Belsebuub in his work, I was observing it during the day, to understand and get rid of this ego from moment to moment.  I was also using meditation regularly to understand it better and on a deeper level.

One night, I was meditating on this specific ego and I started drifting in and out of sleep.  I was determined to get more understanding and so I tried to stay concentrated as much as I could.

And instead of falling asleep unconsciously, I woke up in the astral plane, but I didn’t have full control over the experience. It was more like a vivid dream than a conscious experience.

I saw a person and a good demonstration of the ego and I realized how it was affecting me. Then, there was a doorway leading to another place and when I decided to go, I saw Belsebuub, who was sitting there. He showed me symbolically and explained how complicated the specific ego is.

I am deeply grateful for the teaching I received because I was able to understand a specific aspect of the ego.  Also, I learned how this inner state was trapping and affecting me.

I realized how complicated the ego was and how realistic and patient I needed to be when attempting to get rid of it. Furthermore, the experience helped me to realize that when I work with determination and willingness to understand and get rid of an ego, I can have spiritual help and guidance.