After observing that a specific ego was affecting me negatively, I decided to ‘work on it’ to get rid of it. As suggested by Belsebuub in his work, I was observing it during the day, to understand and get rid of this ego from moment to moment. I was also using meditation regularly to understand it better and on a deeper level.
One night, I was meditating on this specific ego and I started drifting in and out of sleep. I was determined to get more understanding and so I tried to stay concentrated as much as I could.
And instead of falling asleep unconsciously, I woke up in the astral plane, but I didn’t have full control over the experience. It was more like a vivid dream than a conscious experience.
I saw a person and a good demonstration of the ego and I realized how it was affecting me. Then, there was a doorway leading to another place and when I decided to go, I saw Belsebuub, who was sitting there. He showed me symbolically and explained how complicated the specific ego is.
Because of the dream I was able to understand a specific aspect of the ego. Also, I learned how this inner state was trapping and affecting me.
I realized how complicated the ego was and how realistic and patient I needed to be when attempting to get rid of it. Furthermore, the experience helped me to realize that when I work with determination and willingness to understand and get rid of an ego, I can have spiritual help and guidance.
Thanks Lilia, it’s a good reminder of how much help there is available when we genuinely want to understand something about ourselves in order to root it up and get rid of it. Sometimes I see I have a huge conflict of thinking I want to overcome something, but actually making so many excuses for it and really mostly not wanting to go against it at all. It’s then I have to reassess my position again and start the study afresh – I appreciate the reminder that these things are complex! To me it’s a reminder of the importance of inner study …
Wishing you much more guidance and breakthroughs in your inner work!
Thank you Ella. I also find that it is a struggle when my motivation to get rid of something is not enough. In such situations it is a struggle to observe it sincerely, study it and get rid of it from moment to moment.
The complexity of the ego have been one of the many reasons that can get me confused as to where to start from or what to tackle first. Two of the techniques that have helped me to come out of the confusion are self-observation and meditation on the ego. Wishing you my dear all the best with your work, inner strength and guidance!
Very nice, thank you very much for sharing Lilia. I also found out that we need to be very realistic and patient when it comes to removing the egos. Just seeing through all the haze is difficult, not speaking about reaching the necessary willpower and determination to really get rid of something. For me, I found things often need to reach a “boiling point” before I decide that “enough was enough” and a sincere desire springs from within to finish with this or that aspect.
Wishing you a lot of strength and perseverance with your inner work!
Thank you Lucia. I couldn’t agree more. I also have seen that it is not easy to always have honest and enough motivation to deal with an ego. I struggle when something like this happens. It is only when I am “sincerely” motivated and I am seeing/observing the need to change that I can find the inner strength to fight against a psychological defect properly and have good results. You put it very well “..to reach a “boiling point””. Wishing you also much strength, determination and perseverance with your work 🙂
Hi Lilia,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Your dedication to overcome an ego is very motivating, as well as the experience of being helped when it seemed like your efforts were not enough.
All the best with further work,
Thank you Alexsandr. All the best with your inner work too!
Hi Lilia,
That is a very useful outlook to receive. To get to know there’s much more to it than initially thought.
I’ve seen how with the bigger and more fundamental ego states it’s a big work of getting rid of layer after layer. However this is also very rewarding as we can start to see how life works.
It does seem that such perseverance and efforts as you put in are what bring the results. Rather than waiting for it? or something.
Thanks Lilia, also hope you learned a lot more about it since that first time.
I have also seen how big egos can be tackled layer after layer. Furthermore, tackling one layer successfully gives strength to tackle the next layer.
I had an experience of this recently where a particular behavior came up in a situation where it was obviously not good. I resolved to not go along with it. When I did that I felt almost instantaneous relief, and a renewed focus on the inner work.
These benefits gave me motivation to pay attention to this ego in other situations.
Thank you Aleks for sharing your understanding and thank you for reminding us how this process can become encouraging and rewarding
Thank you Blake. Yes it has been rewarding for me to learn how to get to know myself and how to practically change using the techniques taught by Belsebuub. Although it had been difficult many times to keep my perseverance and to keep going with my efforts, I have seen that at least for me (it might be different for other people) it needs hard and continuous work to keep uncovering myself and to change.
During difficult times and times that I thought waiting would help, nothing really happened and I came to the conclusion that being active and practical was the way to go. All the best to you too Blake 🙂
Yes, I agree with that Lilia – being active and practical is the way to go.
Hi Lilia,
Thank you for sharing this experience. It seems that your diligent work and wanting to understand and overcome that ego helped that experience become possible.
It seems like at any given moment we have a certain capacity of how much we can see, understand and overcome, and it takes small steps before we are able to increase that capacity enough for some very big (or perhaps also very subtle) issues.
I wish you much strength and inspiration to overcome even more!
Thank you Pavlin for your wishes.
Thank you, Lilia, for this experience. It seems that your effort had a strong impact and I agree on the determination and how it can bear fruits if we are willing to learn more about our psyche.
Thank you Maia!
Thank you Michael!
Thanks for sharing that experience Lilia. It’s great that you were able to gain some new insights into how to tackle that ego, which you were able to apply to your life.
Thank you Michael, it was what I really needed at the time and all due to persistence and determination to know myself and to change for the better.
Hi Lilia,
Thanks for sharing,you can really tell when you put what is required into
understanding an ego,how themes and traits appear along with help in the astral
to get an accurate understanding of the egos.
Thank you David!