I had this dream experience after asking for a lot of spiritual guidance, night after night, for quite a while.
I won’t reveal exactly what I was asking for, but in general terms, I wanted a clear understanding of a specific personal defect that was standing in my way, one that I had been diligently working upon overcoming.
I had learned to look for spiritual guidance in my dreams from Belsebuub’s work and had been hoping to find some answers in them.
I think I had been asking and praying so much for this guidance that I was beginning to feel like I’d never get an answer though. In fact, I think I had even given up on asking by the night I got an answer…
The answer I needed came in a very clear dream. I don’t have any recollection of the previous dream: I just remember suddenly materializing and being in a very real, but mundane situation with a task to do (something as mundane as getting groceries).
At the time, it never occurred to me how I got into that situation or why I needed to do what I was doing. It all felt completely natural, like that was my life.
I felt incredibly aware: as I walked, I was aware of the movements of my body and my breathing. I could feel the weight of my body as my feet pressed against the ground. I was in well-lit surroundings and could hear things both near and far. I proceeded with my task but then came across an obstacle: the circumstances I was in began to bring up the specific defect I was concerned about, which I knew was not a spiritual state.
I tried to not go along with that state and remain in awareness, but this became increasingly difficult as time went by and more events took place. My efforts to remain conscious increased, but only to a point, and eventually I found myself becoming psychologically captivated by the situation and the subconscious state overpowered my reason. Once I lost my awareness, I woke up.
It had all seemed so real, I even wondered if that was a memory from the previous day, but then knew it had only been a dream. And at this point, I felt a deep sense of remorse for not having had greater self-control. I knew the dream was a very accurate depiction of what I would have done in real life and I wished that I had understood that subconscious state better.
This experience, among other more personal things, taught me about how important it is to observe the small details of negative states and to have humility. Before the dream, I honestly thought that I had a greater understanding of the subconscious state I failed to overcome.
I guess this was in part due to my not seeing the smaller manifestations of this state in my normal life and perhaps also self-deceit, in not seriously considering that I could be tripped up by such simple circumstances.